wow , third post of the day . guess im really bored . LOL . been randomly blog hopping to friend's blogs . noticed tat many are attached ? & many have broke . makes me think of myself . last time use to think having many steads equals to me being popular ? stupid i noe . but tat was naive of me i noe too . when i first came to sembawang sec i really did regret coming in . cos admit it , its not really a good school . many told me with my points i could have gone to better school . i did think of transferring school though . until i met jinhao . he was the first guy i loved in tiz school . he's a very nice & caring guy but smth happened & we broke . i continued loving him for the nxt four months after tat i tot it over long & hard & decided to give him up once & for all . when school re opened after the june holidays i met keyang when i was playing basketball with lenet . he was very nice to me at first but den i found out we cun be tgt due to some reasons which i shouldn't say . so we went our separate ways . aric wasn't someone i was into actually . sherwin's a very good brother to me . but i have nvr tot of him other den juz a brother , a very close friend maybe . anything , i could confide in him & he nvr fails to comfort me . christian wasn't my type either . i was with him only because sara asked me to give him a chance & maybe smth will come out of it . well , we weren't each other's type i guess , lols . lyon's a very nice guy but he tends to insult me.. alot . it came to the point when i really couldn't take it & finally i ended us . i tot tat thr wasn't anyone whom i could like , let alone love . until i met qiwang . he's been with me since the start of school & at first i tot of him as our class joker only . but den he told me tat he had loved me for the past month & after thinking , i realise i did have feelings for him so we were tgt on 061009 . he really did give me lots of good memories & i do treasure them very much . but cos of my over sensitive-ness , he ended the love between us at the end of february , one week to our fifth month . it was the longest relationship i ever had & when we broke , it came down hard on me . but it was harder to forget him when he's in my class & i see him every single school day . he didn't spend my birthday with me tat time but he did buy me a present . it was the piglet i hug to slp & till today i still hug it to slp every night . but it doesn't mean anything now . i eventually let him go cos i met ivan . actually i knew him since last yr but didn't noe him well . only knew he was xinmei's stead x) well we chatted on facebook , on msn , through sms & i realise tat he is a really nice guy . juz tat he's english is a little bad xD no offence dear X: he asked me for stead at first but i din accept cos i juz broke & i don wan ppl to say tat im a hongster , so i decided to think through real hard before deciding to accept him the second time he asked . he made me realise tat i didn't make the wrong choice choosing him . he's nice , caring , sweet & of course , he nvr fails to cheer me up when i needed him to . though the time we were tgt isn't really tat long but i do treasure them alot . long post i noe x) but thr's more , i don think ppl will read though (:

after the break with qiwang , i really lost it , i fought with many of my friends . the one whom i fought with & nearly broke our friendship , is calvin . tat time i really lost it when i fought with him . i do regret terribly after of course . i apologized after tat but i noe somehow he wun forget it juz like tat . thr will always be the scar of our fight somewhr in him . the break with qiwang made me drift apart with many of my close friends . ppl like zhihui , shian , darul . they really have drifted alot frm me . my laoge , zhihui , rarely text him now . don noe why either . i miss the times when we use to text all day long . i can confide anything to him & he wun say a word abt to anyone . shian can too but he doesn't care much . LOL , my laoge & xiaodi , i do miss texting them so much . now someone else have gotten closer to them rather den me . i do hate tat girl alot . i've hated her since the first time she sat with me in the science lab . but she hadn't came into my life so thr's no reason for me to get even with her . now she gave me a reason to hate her even more . the way she laughs really can make a person go deaf . everytime seeing her tgt with zhihui they all simply makes my heart boil . dunno why , maybe cos of jealousy ? maybe , but im not sure . i do wish our friendship hadn't drifted so much & i really miss those days when we use to chat through the night tgt . haiix , guess my attitude changed alot after the break . i noe tat him & i can nvr be friends again like we use to . i hope tat day will come when he wun hate me anymore & tat he's willing to talk to me again & joke with me juz like english class last yr.. whr we will always be laughing & chatting away as mrs ghani teaches . of course , we got scolded but it was really fun rem the times when we were friends . i hope tat day will come but i noe its impossible . he hates me to the core now but i still don understand why . now tat girl's closer to him like how i used to be with him . haiix thr are many things which i really hope i can turn back time & change them but i juz have to forget it & move on . i miss my dear haziqah loads too . she's the only girl friend whom i can confine everything to . & she would juz sit thr & listen attentively . after tat she'll start scolding the person who made me upset or angry . haha , tat naive & cute little girl is the girl i love . tat innocent little girl really nvr fails to make me laugh no matter how sad or angry i am . i miss her terribly . although she's malay , she doesn't mind us speaking chinese in front of her cos she will be listening attentively & of course , she'll ask loads of qn . haha & we'll have to explain everything to her again . den she'll give us tat cute face of hers & simply nod . i miss them all very much , especially my dearest haziqah ):